Sisters Are The Worst Invention...Ever

Perhaps I'll feel different when I'm older but for the time being I cannot stand my little sister.

Skinny, sluttly, bitchy, and bratty, my sister, whom I shall refer to as Marissa, makes my life hell.

Take today, for example. In a pair of short short shorts (if you can imagine) which are denim and from Garage, a tight Aeropostale shirt (second only to the tight Abercrombie shirt) and a look of pure "popular" crowd snootiness on her face, she thrust my sunglasses at my and then slammed our front door, narrowly missing my curious dog's face.

Marissa has already proclaimed her hate for me three times this week. Ask Marissa and you'll find that I'm the worst older sister EVER. Does she not know of Mary Tudor, who locked her own sister, the future Queen Elizabeth 1, in that wretched tower and burned others at the stake? Or Cleopatra, who may or may not have had her brother(s) killed? Apparently, this is irrelevent to Marissa.

As long as I stick to my Wal-Mart Beatles tops, boyfriendless and with a taste in music other than pop, I am a waste of life.

I can accept this.

But Marissa still bugs the hell out of me!

Reasons?

• She flounces around in her extremely short shorts and skirts, looking like a total slut.
• She thinks she's super-cool and amazing and that the world revolves around her.
• She has awful traitorous friends that she puts on a pedestel and then moans when they ditch her.
• She doesn't get anything and acts like she does (Two and a Half Men? Friends? Those jokes, obvious as they are, go right over her head)
• She copies all my lines and denies it, manipulates things to make it look like I did it when it was her, couldn't care less about our dog but says it only responds to HER and that SHE raises it. (Liar!)
• Is a total Jonas Brother-worshipping, Hannah Montanna-loving, she-devil.

Do you have a sister like Marissa?

I'd love to know!

Nichöle Jude